🔗 Share this article

“Well, the situation is pretty dire here. The guidance we offer all of our clients to invest all their resources into canned food and shotguns.” That bit of sage advice comes from the Brain Gremlin – a scientifically altered, speaking, bespectacled member of the slick creature crowd that infests Manhattan’s super-smart Clamp Tower skyscraper in director Joe Dante’s zany follow-up Gremlins 2: The New Batch. On the surface, it’s simply an investment tip from one monster to another. Yet, in a strange manner, it’s also remarkably sound life guidance. Truly, hear me out.

When life takes a turn for the worse, the most counterproductive action you can do is view events with undue solemnity. The Brain Gremlin grasps this. Indeed, most of the toothy monsters that populate Dante’s wild 1990 film (debateably his greatest) possess the same knowing, self-referential funny bone regarding the hazy boundary separating everyday life and pure pandemonium. It’s a particular aspect of Gremlins 2: The New Batch that maintains my loyalty – and the older I get, it’s the message that strikes the deepest chord.

A Childhood Obsession

Naturally, my attachment to this movie didn’t start on such an introspective level. As a child, we were limited to a few well-worn videocassettes at home. Included within that collection were Gremlins and its second chapter, the latter housed in a bulky previously-rented case almost certainly acquired from an off-brand video shop and featuring growling monsters on its knackered cover. I was right away smitten and these films quickly proceeded inserting themselves inside my young, susceptible psyche. From then on, they became an almost-daily part of my early years entertainment regimen.

Dante’s initial installment typically gets all the accolades, thanks mostly because of its legacy as a partly frightening holiday classic – and to be fair, I’ve watched Gremlins on countless occasions. However, its follow-up seldom receives the same level of elevated esteem, which feels a travesty. As a kid, I’d always seize the chance to watch Gremlins 2. During long summer holidays, I’d seclude myself indoors and stick it on. When I obtained my very own TV-VHS combo unit, it stayed in constant rotation in my bedroom. Over time, it etched itself permanently in my mental framework. If my parents detected this preoccupation, they appeared unbothered.

Deeper Delights and Societal References

As I grew, new understandings enriched frequent screenings, elevating the fun of watching small emerald creatures joyously wreck a New York high-rise. I learned the forward-thinking property magnate and Clamp Tower owner, Daniel Clamp (John Glover), was inspired directly by future president Donald Trump, with his red-headed employee Marla (Haviland Morris) referencing his second wife Marla Maples. Luckily, Clamp has more heart than his real-life counterpart.

The “apocalyptic” video Clamp plays during the height of creature carnage? I discovered it was modeled after a actual “Doomsday” video produced by the CNN boss Ted Turner as a contingency for the world really ended. I noticed how Dante made a special effort to film alternate cuts of a self-referential segment where Gremlins seize control of the very film you’re watching. One for cinemas, one for VHS and TV, each delivering a smirking slice of self-referential entertainment sorcery before the term was even a thing.

A Persistent Influence

While it was effects expert Rick Baker’s gloriously nasty-looking creatures that drew my gaze as a child, this subsurface richness held my interest as an adult. In time, I even interviewed Dante about it myself and he had no reservations revealing to me he made the movie with the direct intention of mocking those who loved its absurd-yet-genuine predecessor and wanted more. “We were going to make fun of the fact you came to see it,” he cheerfully disclosed. This anarchic rebelliousness and resolve to not take his sequel as seriously as his Warner Bros bosses evidently expected, only increased my affection for it.

When I experienced a sudden family bereavement earlier this year, I was astonished to realize that, during my most profound sorrow, all I desired to do was sit and watch Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Odd, no? Possibly not. The nostalgic calm it provided was essential to weaken my mind’s mourning mire – but the stuff it had bestowed upon me as an adult were just as useful.

Like Gremlins tearing apart a genetics laboratory, there’s some things in life you just can’t control. Dante understands this. The Brain Gremlin shares this wisdom. Sometimes, you have to emulate them: accept the turmoil, commit your entire being into canned food and shotguns and try not to approach life with excessive gravity.

It’s robust worldly wisdom from a most improbable origin – and it’s the reason Gremlins 2: The New Batch will forever remain my feelgood film.